#6: Why Do We Never Go to the Gym?

Health disparities amongst Black women have been well documented. Black women are more likely to suffer and even die from stroke, heart disease, and -- especially -- diabetes than their white counterparts. Many of these problems can be alleviated by proper diet and a regular excercise regimen. However, as anyone who goes to a gym can attest to, you'll never see a Black woman there. (Image #1, above, was clearly doctored to make it appear as if a sista was in the gym) Is it that we're lazy? No that doesn't explain it. So, in this post I will answer the question:

Why Do Black Women never go to the Gym?

A friend of mine (white female) who does competitive weightlifting asked me the other day why Black women, who are notorious for their rotund rear ends, do not do more squats in the gym, since their beautiful, large posteriors could serve as a natural competitive advantage. I explained to her that the bigger question is why Black women don't go to the gym period. The answer also explains why every Black woman owns an umbrella and why you'll never see them in the pool at a pool party.

Black women don't like messing up their hair.

It's a plain and simple fact. Water (whether its coming down from the sky, or up from the pores in your scalp) is to a Black woman's hair what kryptonite is to Superman. *note: if you playfully throw a Black woman into a pool at a pool party, you ass WILL get beat* See image #2: this lady looks miserable not because she didn't enjoy the scuba diving experience, but because her hair got wet in the process.

A white girl may ask, well why can't you just fix your hair back up when you get home? Silly white girl! A black woman's grooming process is an event in and of itself, and cannot be accomplished by oneself in just one evening, or in the morning before work. If you hear a Black woman say "I'm going to get my hair did tomorrow," expect her to be gone all day. Don't plan anything with her from 8am - 4pm, because she will not be available.

Anyways, I digress. Black women do not go to the gym because they spent entirely too much money and time on getting their hair looking good to mess it up in just one trip to the gym. If you see a Black woman on the treadmill, then she is either 1) one of those few sistas that doesn't care that much about her hair or 2) is getting her hair done the next day anyway.

Despite the health disparities I pointed out earlier, obviously not all black women are unhealthy. How do you manage to stay healthy/in-shape and yet never go to the gym? The answer is simple: go to the club. Two to four hours of getting low and backing it up every Friday and Saturday night is enough to keep a sista in good shape.

It is important to know that at the club, all hair rules are thrown out the window. Sweating out weaves is acceptable in the club, and only in the club.

I hope you've learned something new about our culture. Til next time...