It's Friday night. You're and your buddies (including your one Black friend) are out at a club. You're feeling a little left out, because all the ladies are dancing with your Black friend, and not with you or your other friends. So you do what any white person in your situation would do: ask your Black friend how to dance! Surely he'll be able to instruct you on some fly moves which will get the ladies' attention. Much to your chagrin, when you ask your Black friend for his tutelage, he rolls his eyes in disgust, then turns his attention back to the young lady backing it up on him to the latest Lil' Wayne hit. At this point, you scratch your head and ask:
Why do Black people get annoyed when I ask them to teach me how to dance?
I am here to let you know that the answer is not what you might think it is. It is not that we don't want to take the time to help our white friends dance better. The problem is: we know that, no matter how hard we try, your ability to dance will never improve to the point where it is acceptable to display in any public venue. It's impossible. White people have many talents (taking over other people's lands and claiming it as their own, for example -- see Manifest Destiny), but dancing has never been one of them. We know this, and it annoys us that you all haven't realized this yet and stopped asking us to be your personal dance instructor.
What happens when, inevitably, you ask us to dance? You get hit with the mean mug. A "mean mug" is an facial expression of utter disgust and contempt. See the image for an example:
Surely you've seen this sort of expression on your Black friend's face before? Other questions/requests for a Black person that will get you hit with the mean mug include:
- lesson on how to rap
- where the best place is to get some friend chicken
- interpretation on what some other Black person on tv/radio said (see post #4 on slang)
- "How do get your hair like that?" (again, see image #1)
- where is the nearest weed spot
- can you borrow a du-rag/chain/pair of baggy jeans because you want to be White Trash for Halloween
If you are ever hit with the mean mug, it is best to just make a sad face and apologize immediately.
