#11: Why Do We Never Wear Sandals?

Ah the dog days of summer. The time for women to put on their short shorts and mini skirts, and for the guys to bring the muscle shirts and shorts out of the closet. And of course, you've got to let your feet breathe! Everyone, man, woman, and child, puts on their favorite pair of open-toed shoes and walks around. But have you ever seen your Black male friend wear flip-flops or sandals? Nope, he even has his sneakers on at the beach! Of course, this sparks your curiosity and you ask him:

Why do Black guys never wear sandals?

I'm here to tell you the answer is quite simple: Black men have spent so many years playing basketball that their feet simply look atrocious. We don't wear sandals because we don't want to offend the general public like that. See image #1 for how the typical Black man's foot looks by adulthood.

Now do you understand why we don't wear sandals? If we did, we'd all be walking around looking like this dude in image #2... and that just ain't right.

There is, however, one --and only one-- situation in which it is acceptable for a Black man to wear sandals. This is when you have just finished playing ball and want to walk back home in something other than your basketball sneakers. It is only at this time that a brotha may put on sandals*, and must do so with the proper accessories (image #3).

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you have learned something new after reading this. Until next time...

*note: Thong flip flops and Jesus sandals are NEVER acceptable.